My babies in heaven. (the post I didn't want to write)

This is a post I never thought I'd write. In fact, I hate that I'm writing this. It sucks, and it feels like no one understands. But it must be written because it's not doing me any good keeping it a secret. It's also not doing anyone else any good and so I must write, here goes.

 

(breathe Sarah, breathe)

 

We always said we wanted Selah to have a sibling close to her age so we've pretty much been talking about babies since the day she was born. When we'd have another though was debatable on both of our parts. In the end we decided in August, after she turned one, would be the perfect time for me to get pregnant.

 

Much to our amazement in September we saw the blessed two lines on the pregnancy test. I even tested 5 days early because I was so excited and the results showed up immediately. There was no doubt about it, I was pregnant. We were elated.

 

The bliss didn't last long, however because I started bleeding the next morning at 4am. I was so scared because nothing like this ever happened with my pregnancy with Selah. I called my doctor as soon as I could that morning and she wasn't concerned at all, she said as long as it didn't continue or get heavier I was okay. Whew. Relief flooded over me.

 

The relief was short lived though as I continued bleeding a few days later, it eventually got heavier to where I knew something just wasn't right. My hope started to dwindle. Finally the doctor wanted to see me for a blood test and ultrasound. The ultrasound reveled what we all had expected. Empty. I had already miscarried or so we thought. But as they continued to look over everything they saw something in my fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancy. We were totally and completely distraught.

 

I had the option to either wait it out to see if my body would take over or reabsorb the "tissue" my doctor so flippantly called it, which is not recommended. My second choice was to get a shot to get the process going. As I sat crying in my doctors office, her words of comfort to me was that this wasn't really a baby, just tissue. It didn't even have a heart beat yet. Those words were like a knife in the gut. Because I knew those words. Those are the words people use to justify an abortion. My world was spinning and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The only thing I could say is, "God help me!  I don't know what to do!" My husband and I cried and prayed. The one piece of comfort we had was the fact that we already believed our baby was in heaven. The Lord had given us that peace days before.

 

I got the shot that same day. I felt absolutely terrible, not just from the shot side effects but emotionally as well. The devil was lying to me hard core. I felt like the biggest hypocrite.

 

I wish this was the end of this post, I wish I could say that it's all daisies and roses, that my heart is healed and we are ready for another baby. But there's more to the story.

 

Three weeks later we were ready to try again and got the green light from my doctor. We were so excited and did not think it would be possible to try again so soon, but if the doctor said so it must be right! Right? Fast forward to October 21st, my 24th birthday. I took another test and there it was, two pink lines. If we were excited before I don't even know how to describe what we were after finding out again! Finally, the sting of the ectopic was gone. We had our miracle baby!

 

Four weeks later we went to our 8 week ultrasound. I couldn't wait to see this little bean but I had a nagging uneasiness that I couldn't seem to shake. I just attributed it to the circumstances of our last ultrasound. The tech put the cool jelly on my belly and started to look around. I immediately knew something wasn't right. I saw the uterus, I saw the sac, but where was my sweet baby? I knew by the look on the tech's face that this wasn't good. A blighted ovum they called it, such a cold name.

 

For anyone who doesn't know what a blighted ovum is I'll try to explain a little. It's basically when an egg gets fertilized and at some point in the very early development, it stops growing. The sac keeps growing despite a baby not being there. Imagine my disappointment in the coming weeks hearing people tell me that there was "no baby". I've always believed that life begins at conception, so yes there was, in fact a baby at some point.

 

This time we decided to wait out the process naturally. We were believing for a miracle. My body wasn't showing signs of miscarrying and so we thought maybe this baby was just hiding. I had heard stories about people being misdiagnosed with a blighted ovum only to find the baby weeks later so we were not going to give up so easily.  We fought, we cried, we prayed, "God save our baby!" In the following weeks we got two more ultrasounds, holding our breath before each one. Ready to see our baby. But the same thing greeted us both times, empty. There was no baby anymore.

 

Heartbroken is an understatement, confusion is an understatement, alone is an understatement. I felt like God had abandoned me.

 

At that point I had no other options but to take some pills to make me abort the tissue or have a D & C. I opted for the pills and it was the most terrible, excruciating pain. Worse then when I was labor with Selah. It was a long day of tears but finally when it was over I felt like maybe, just maybe I could move on.

 

The months following have been hard. Do I still wonder why? Yes, every day. But every day I'm a little bit more okay with not knowing. I may have to wait until I get to heaven to know, but until then my sweet babies are in the arms of Jesus and Louis and I are so excited to meet them one day. Eden and Jude. I pray often, "Jesus give our babies lots of kisses and hugs today, tell them that we love them and miss them so much."

 

I know that I know that I know that what the devil meant for evil, God is turning around for my good. I'm not sure what the good is. Maybe sharing my testimony is part of it so that I can help other mommies going through this. I don't know. But I pray the good would be revealed to me. In the mean time, I'm expecting more babies from The Lord. He promised it. And His promises are "yes" and "amen". I'm ready for my double portion. God is still good, and He's still on the throne.

 

Isaiah 61:7 New International Version (NIV)

^"Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours."

 

 

My word for 2015

Transparency.

 

 

After the Lord gave me this word it seemed so obvious. Like why didn't I think of this before? I suppose He gives us different goals in different seasons, and in this season transparency is so necessary. Even though I have no idea what my word was last year, I do know that something feels completely different about this year. So much has happened in 2014, so many things that I would care to forget. What the devil meant for evil, God is turning around for good. This I know with my whole heart.

 

I chose this word because I know this year the Lord is wanting me to share my testimony, my hurts, my triumphs, how far He has brought me, etc. It has always been very hard for me to bear my heart to others in fear that it won't be cared for. Past hurts have stopped me from being able to trust, but I'm not letting them stop me any more.

 

I refuse to care or be in fear about what others think of me.

 

This year I want to connect with others. To share, to love, to encourage, to make life long friendships.

 

 

I've spent too much time since becoming a mom feeling sorry for myself because I didn't have the friendships I wanted. I was just talking to my husband the other day about why it's so hard for me to make friends in real life but it's so easy to make friends in the blogging world. It's so easy for me to text and share my heart with these women I've never even met, yet so difficult to make a playdate with someone from church. I've been letting fear hold me back for so long. 

 

I have met these amazing, wonderful, Godly friends through the blogging world. One of my best friends, in fact. I thank God so often for the friendships blogging has brought me. But it's time for something new this year. I'm stepping into the real world. This year I'm not letting myself hide behind a phone or computer screen where I can't be hurt. I'm putting myself out there, and I'm not turning back.

 

 



Even if they laugh

I've contemplating deleting this blog for some time now, but for some reason can't bring myself too. Something about writing out my thoughts and feelings is so freeing to me-but only if my immediate family and friends can't read it apparently. You see, certain people found out I had a blog and were reading. Since then I haven't written because I was suddenly self conscious of the things I was writing-which makes blogging not very fun. Writing has always been a release for me, I haven't always been the best with sharing what's going on inside my head and with blogging I was finally able to do those things.

I trusted the blogging friends I had made and was okay with them seeing the vulnerable me. But for some reason I'm still not okay with letting others in. Maybe that's okay. I'd like to share posts I write on Facebook someday, but for now they're still just mine. Someday I'll share them with the rest of the world, even if they point and laugh.

 

I'm praying about starting a whole new blog to avoid this problem so we shall see what happens! :)

 

And of course a picture of my sweet 14 month old to complete the post!

Selah(12 months) and other random happenings

I promise my last post wasn't a lie. Seriously. Don't look at me like that! Okay, okay. I guess I didn't get my blogging mojo back completely but I'll take what I can get at this point. ;)

July was a crazy busy month for us with Selah's birthday party and then camping at the end of the month, I feel like I blinked and now it's august! When did that happen?

I just had oral surgery on Friday to get my wisdom teeth removed so I've been housebound since then and let me tell you I can't wait to get out of the house! I'm trying not to let the mommy guilt get to me and I know that soon enough I will be back to my old self and Selah and I can get out of the house again.

What was I writing about again? Oh yes! Selah's 12 month update! Ahhh!

The biggest happening since the last update was miss Selah's first haircut! I had gone back and forth about it for months but it was time! I'm so glad we did it, too! No more mullet. lol

Little miss has gotten a few more teeth since her 10 month update! She now has 2 on top and three on bottom! I can see that two more are about to poke through on top though!

 Weight: 18lbs 11oz
 Nicknames: Little Missy, Missy, Sweet Pea, baby cakes

 Eating: I officially weaned Selah from breastfeeding on Friday. Sigh. :( I had no idea I would be so emotional about this but to me it just means that she is no longer a baby and that makes me so sad!
She hasn't seemed to notice though so I suppose that is a good thing. I'm sure it would be a lot harder for me if she asked for it.

 Sleeping: Sleeping like a champ. Usually from around 8pm-6am once she wakes up we feed her a bottle and she goes back to sleep until 8:30ish

Diapers: Size 3


Clothing: 12 months, some 18 month t shirts as well.

Social: Selah is still so very chatty and gets so excited when she sees someone she recognizes. She has also been talking so much it's the cutest thing. Currently she says: Mama, Dada, Dog, Ball, Baba(bottle), Hi, Bye, More, Minnie Mouse, I'm pretty sure there are a few more I can't think of at the moment.

Selah is also into kissing anything and everything! She gives us multiple kisses a day all on her own and we just love it! Talk about heart melting! Come on!


  Likes: Pulling herself up on everything and walking along the furniture, everything Minnie Mouse!


Dislikes: When mama and dada don't share their food

Looking forward to: Her finally walking!

It feels good to be back!

So guys,

I think I got my mojo back. I want to blog again! WHAT, WHAT?!? Yep you heard that right! There has just been so much happening over here that I just feel the need to write and what better place to do it than right here. It feels good to be back, let me tell ya. :)

It really sucks sometimes that I tend to over think things. That has been one of the major reasons why I haven't written in so long. As soon as I sit down to write I just feel like what I write is going to sound dumb or something. I know, I know that makes no sense. Which is exactly why I'm not going to let that stupid devil win. I am going to write and write well.

I am a vessel of The Lord and He is going to do great and mighty things through this blog. Get ready!

So yeah first things first. I CUT MY HAIR YA'LL! To be honest I didn't know what to think of it at first because I missed my long hair. But now that it's been a few weeks it has really grown on me! I think I might even love it! ;)

 

Welp, ta ta for now! I will write again soon, pinky promise! ;)

A Father's love.

 

 

When I picture a good daddy I think of a safe haven, I see a little girl comforted in her daddy's strong arms. That wasn't my daddy though.

He was my best friend...when he was around. But once he disappeared the first time, and again, and again, and again my faith started dwindling. The sad part is I didn't even know it was happening.

 

Without realizing it I had intertwined so much of The Father's love for me and compared it with my own father's love. But it couldn't measure up. It never would.

 

Even if my daddy would have been an amazing father to me it wouldn't have compared, and that's still so hard for me to wrap my mind around. Because unlike my earthly dad, my heavenly daddy never left me, no never. I knew these things in my mind, and could quote scripture like nobody's business but somehow I couldn't believe that God could really love ME. Unlovable-that ugly word that the devil had tried to pin on me for as long as I can remember.

 

But then, The Lord gave us a special gift. Our Selah. He gave me the gift of seeing my husband as a daddy. An amazing daddy who would do anything for his little girl. Who never wants to see her upset or hurt or lacking any good thing. This is the picture of redemption, this is the picture of grace.

 

I'm finally getting another chance to see a glimpse of God's love for me, but this time it's through the eyes of my little girl.

 

Oh, how He loves us. He's still teaching me just how much.

Selah-10 months!

I think this is the latest monthly update I've done so far! 3 weeks late!!! My goodness, I need to get back on my game!

Miss Selah got another tooth so she officially had 2 when she turned 10 months! She has one more now! :)

 Weight: 16lbs

 Nicknames: Little Missy, Missy, Sweet Pea, baby cakes

  Eating: Selah is still breastfeeding every 3-4 hours during the day. She also has breakfast, lunch, and dinner as a mix of purees and "real" food. She especially loves chicken-she is such a daddy's girl!

Sleeping: Sleeping like a champ

Diapers: Size 2


Clothing: some 6-9 and 9-12 months. Can I just say I'm loving her summer wardrobe! I have been so excited for her to wear all of these cute outfits! I'm so glad its warm enough for that now!

Social: Selah is a very social girl and she loves being around family oh so much! She loves my mom so much and gets so excited whenever she sees her! Definitely a grandmas girl!


  Likes: army crawling everywhere and chasing our Miniature Pinscher, Reesee all around the house!


Dislikes: peas, green beans.

Looking forward to: Her first birthday!!!

My most embarrasing moment...

 

It all started on cheese burger day...

I had been looking forward to this day all week! As soon as I looked at the lunch menu hanging on my refrigerator that Monday morning I just knew it would be a good Valentines day! How wrong I was! 

When you're in the second grade you don't need a whole lot to make you happy, at least I didnt. Give me a big poofy dress and a cheese burger and I was perfectly content! Fortunately for me on this day I had it all.

I had been saving this dress for a special occasion. It was big, poofy, and white with red hearts and sequins speckled all over it. It was quite over the top as I can remember it, and very very short I might add. I'm not quite sure how I convinced my mom to let me wear it since it was in the middle of February, I must've been pretty convincing. Either that or she was just too exhausted to argue with me, being her fourth daughter and all. Yeah, I think that's it.

There were two options for lunch that day; my beloved cheese burgers or stinky leftover meatball sandwiches. As you can imagine the cheeseburger line stretched the length of the tiny gym cafeteria. I was perturbed to wait, I admit but it was well worth it once I got to the front of the line and happily grabbed my lunch tray.

I then proceeded to prance to our lunch table at the other side of the gymnasium. I was feeling awfully cute in my valentine dress too. I can't quite tell you what happened next but all I know is that my feet flew out from under me and I did a face plant on the ground. Cheeseburger and tray flying through the air and my big poofy dress up over my head exposing my underwear that read, "Wednesday." It was NOT Wednesday you guys. Long story short, I was completely mortified. And I had to eat a meatball sandwich. Happy Valentines Day, to me. 

How's that for an embarrassing story? ;)

Selah-9 Months!

9 months. 9 months! 9 months?!?! Seriously how is it possible that my baby is going to be one in three short months! Time needs to slow down just a bit!

This month Selah got her very first tooth and started army crawling! My big girl!

Weight: 15lbs

 Nicknames: Little Missy, Missy, Sweet Pea, baby cakes

  Eating: Selah is still breastfeeding every 3-4 hours during the day. She also has breakfast, lunch, and dinner as a mix of purees and "real" food.

Sleeping: This month Selah started waking up around 4am every night wanting to eat. Momma was TIRED! lol

Diapers: Size 2


Clothing: 6-9 months

Social: Selah loves other babies and she especially loves being in the nursery at church! :)


 Likes: army crawling everywhere!


Dislikes: peas, green beans, not being able to roll around on the floor!

Looking forward to: Her first birthday!!!

The future of this blog!

Uhm Hi blog, I'm Sarah. Nice to see you again!

I haven't done a post in a month and honestly i'm kinda okay with that. In this season I'm focusing on spending my time watching Selah grow. This first year has already gone so fast and I'm trying my best to cherish it.
For some reason I just haven't had any motivation to blog. I keep starting posts and not finishing them, I'm not really sure what the deal is.

I don't know what the future of this blog is. I'd still like to post Selah stuff once in awhile like monthy updates, etc. but It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I think I just had a lot more idle time when I was working. In between customers I was writing blog posts and I simply don't have that kind of idle time anymore.

I hope ya'll understand! If anyone is even still following along, thank you! lol

Selah-8 months!

This has been a big month for miss Selah! I feel like her personality is coming out so much lately and I love it! She is so silly and I love it! This month had a lot of big milestones:
-Selah's first road trip
-Transitioning to her big girl car seat
-Her first "real" food!
-Sitting in the cart for the first time
-waving and saying "ba-ba" for bye bye

I'm sure there's more that I can't think of at the moment! But seriously, she is just growing up so fast! Where did my squishy little newborn go?!



Weight: Selah weighs almost 15lbs


 Nicknames: Little Missy, Missy, Sweet Pea, baby cakes

 Eating: Selah is still eating mommy's milk every 3-4 hours during the day and eats purees for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! She's even ventured into eating "real" foods. So far she's tried potatoes, ice cream, cheese, puffs, strawberries, bananas, avocado, pudding, and probably some other things I can't think of right now! It's so much fun giving her all of these real foods and I can't wait to try all kinds of new things with her now that she is so much more confident with eating. For the longest time she would gag when anything other than purees were in her mouth-i'm so thankful she finally figured it out!


Sleeping: Sweet girl is sleeping through the night like a champ and mommy couldn't be more happy about it! I need my 8 hours of sleep, ya'll! Seriously! haha! Selah usually sleeps from about 7:30pm-6am then eats and goes back to sleep until about 8.


Diapers: Size 2


Clothing: 6 months are still fitting pretty well but we have started breaking into some of her 9 month clothes.

Social: Selah loves people so much! When we take her anywhere she seems to make friends with whoever we are near, especially at Target! Girl after my own heart, what can I say? ;) She love loves sitting in the cart and talks and babbles the entire time!

This month we also took Selah on her very first road trip to St. Louis! I was so nervous about the 7 hour car ride but she did so much better than I expected! So proud of my girl!

 Likes: her jumparoo now that she's finally tall enough! She loves jumping and bouncing these days!


Dislikes: peas, green beans, not being able to roll around on the floor!

Looking forward to: Moving to our new place in t-minus 10 days! EEk!!!

The Very Random Link Up. What does a day in your life look like?

    Hey pretty ladies! Are any of you feeling as blah as I am right now? I don't know what the deal is but my motivation has seriously been lacking lately! I'm blaming it on the weather. I'm also blaming it on the fact that we are getting ready to move in 32 days and counting! EEEK! To say I am excited is a major understatement!

Thank goodness today is the Very Random Link Up because it's making me want to get things done today. This is a typical ideal day in my life, because ya know it varies from day to day!

                                                         

The very random Link up is not your ordinary link up. We will be doing topics different months.

Example: A vlogging month, about me month, and trying new recipes month.

One of my most favorite things about blogging is the relationships that come with it. the relationships that start out as a fellow blogger and turns into  a friend or even  a sister.

That is what these two ladies above have become in the last year. We've started out as fellow bloggers, to friends, to sisters and it is just so so amazing how God could use such a thing as blogging to bring us together. and we want that same relationship with you. That's why Sarah and I decided to start this fun random link up is because we wanted to find fun ways to get to know you and meet more of you! Will you join our very random community? 

 Each Month Sarah and I will pick a topic. It may be a vlogging month, a month of encouraging posts. anything. Some months we'll ask the questions and other months we just want to hear your thoughts and your heart. Have a topic or question  idea?  We'd love to hear it!

Today's question is:

What does a day in your life look like?

 

 

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 {7:30am} My day usually starts around this time when I hear my little lady stirring on the video monitor. Which was the BEST investment we made when I was prego! For any of you mommas I would definitely recommend one. It gives me such a peace of mind to actually be able to see her. Anywho, once I get Selah up I feed her.

 

{8am} Take Selah out to the dining room and feed her her oatmeal mixed with either pears or applesauce and then I usually eat cereal at the same time.

 

{8:30am} Go into the living room and let Selah play with toys/watch The Chica Show-her favorite! ;)

 

{9am} Put my little lady in her crib for her first nap. While she's napping I usually try to get time in The Word. I'm trying to get better about this because I see what a difference it makes in my days. Even on days I don't necessarily feel motivated to do it I know The Lord is changing me by reading His words. I usually talk to my sister on the phone during this time.

 

{10:30am} Little lady starts stirring and I get her up and feed her.

 

{11am} Take Selah in her room and let her play with her toys.

 

{12pm} Put Selah in her crib for her 2nd nap. During this time I try to do some cleaning or eat lunch.

 

{1pm} Selah wakes up and The hubs usually comes home for lunch at this time and we usually eat together.

 

{1:30pm} The Hubs leaves to go back to work. I feed Selah again.

 

{2pm} This would usually be the time I would like to take Selah for a walk outside once it gets warm.

 

{3pm} Put Selah in her crib for her 3rd and final nap of the day. During this nap I usually try to get some cleaning in.

 

{4pm} Selah wakes up and I feed her again.

 

{4:30pm} Start figuring out/cooking what I'm going to make for dinner.

 

{5:30pm} The Hubs comes home and we eat dinner and Selah eats baby food.

 

{6pm} Family time.

 

{7:30pm} Feed Selah and put her in her crib for bed.

 

After this Louis and I get to spend time together and get any business photography stuff done that we need to.

 

{10:30-11} Bed time.

 

So that's an average day in my life! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selah-7 months old

Sweet girl is 7 months old!!! Can you believe it? She is over half a year now so call me crazy but I've already been planning her first birthday! ;) It's going to be great, I'm so excited!




Weight: Selah weighs about 14lbs 5oz.


 Nicknames: Little Missy, Missy, Sweet Pea, Miha

Eating: Still eating mama's milk every 3 hours and eats baby food twice a day, for breakfast and dinner. Her favorites at the moment are applesauce, pears, sweet potatoes, and carrots.


Sleeping: Selah is finally back to sleeping through the night and this mama could not be more happy about it! It makes such a difference when I get the whole 8 hours I need. She usually sleeps from around 8pm to 5:30am when she wakes for a feed. After that she goes back to bed until about 7:30.


Diapers: Size 2


Clothing: 6 months


Social: Selah is still loving the nursery at church. I can already tell she is going to be very social and outgoing because whenever we are out and about she smiles at anyone who looks at her. She loves people!


Likes: rolling everywhere, her crib, her rubber ducky, the new valentine bear that daddy got her!


Dislikes: peas, green beans, being in her car seat

Looking forward to: Our St. Louis trip next week! We are going to visit my sister, brother in law, and niece! So excited! :)

Mine

These moments. The messy, dirty, everyday moments. I don't take pictures of those....Well...let me rephrase that. I don't POST the pictures I take of those. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, like somehow I'm being fake.

 

 But I came to a conclusion this morning. There's nothing wrong with only posting my most favorite photos of Selah because in 10 years I don't think I'll remember the hard days, I will remember how beautiful my baby was.

 I will see her trying to be her grown up self and I will remember her sweet chubby cheeks and the way her fine baby hair framed her face just so.

I will think in fondness about how her long soft lashes completely encompassed those big blue eyes.

I will want to remember the way her toes curled around each other and how she crossed her legs, all relaxed.

The way she saw the world through the wonder that only a six month old baby can have, because everything is new to them. Everything is the first time.

 In 10 years I don't think I'll remember how my hair is a mess and I haven't had a good nights rest in weeks.  But I will remember in fondness that I have the most beautiful baby in the whole world in my arms, that I'm totally enveloped and completely smitten. I will remember that she's mine.

The Very Random Link Up #6

Hello ladies, how are you all doing today? It's Tuesday again, which means it's time for none other than the very random link up with my girl, Heather! Are you getting excited? I know I am! :)

 

 

 

 

The question for this week is, Who is your favorite person and why?

 

 

Hands down, my favorite person is Jesus. I figured the easiest way to write this would be in list form so here ya go! :)

 

10 Reasons Why Jesus Is My Favorite:

 

1- He died for me.

 

1 Peter 2:24

^"who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed."

 

2- He is my best friend and was my friend when I felt like I had no one else.

 

John 15:13

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

 

3- He healed my body.

 

Psalm 103:1-3 "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases..."

 

4- He made me an heir and adopted me as His child.

 

Romans 8:15

^" For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

 

5- He never changes.

 

Hebrews 13:8

"Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever."

 

6- He gave me my husband

 

James 1:17

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."

 

7- He gave me my baby.

 

Psalm 127:3

"Children are a gift from The Lord, they are a reward from Him."

 

 

8- He gave us authority to walk in the same miracles He did when He was on the earth so that we may lead others to Him.

 

Mark 16:17-18

^"And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

 

9- He loves children. I love this quality so much.

 

Matthew 19:14

^" But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

 

10- No matter how much I feel like I have failed Him, He will NEVER stop loving me. His love never fails.

 

Psalm 136: 1-9 

"Praise the Lord! He is good.
    God’s love never fails.
 Praise the God of all gods.
    God’s love never fails.
 Praise the Lord of lords.
    God’s love never fails.

 Only God works great miracles.^[a]
    God’s love never fails.
 With wisdom he made the sky.
    God’s love never fails.
 The Lord stretched the earth
over the ocean.
    God’s love never fails.
 He made the bright lights
in the sky.
    God’s love never fails.
 He lets the sun rule each day.
    God’s love never fails.
He lets the moon and the stars
rule each night.
    God’s love never fails."

 

Friends, If you don't know Jesus I would love to introduce you! He is the best friend you will ever have. He is your healer, your protector, your defender, your help in time of need, and so so so much more! If you have any questions please feel free to message me! Jesus loves you so much! More than you will ever know.

 

 

The Very Random Link Up #5-Caramel Pecan Monkey Bread

Hello peeps,
It's Tuesday! Which means it's time for The Very Random Link Up with yours truly and my bestest friend, Heather!


You guys. I'm super duper excited about our topic this week! It's no secret I like food, I'm quite the chunky kid at heart! ;)

What is your favorite recipe?

I have many favorites so it was really hard for me to choose one but alas I thought a family tradition would be the way to go.

When I think about Christmas and Thanksgiving mornings growing up I always think of waking up to the smell of Monkey Bread. It's a family favorite and has been a tradition for us for as long as I can remember. This stuff is ooey gooey melt in your mouth can't stop eating deliciousness! How's that for a description?

So without further adieu, Caramel Pecan Monkey Bread!

Caramel Pecan Monkey Bread

To start out you will need biscuits, four cans to be exact.

 

Break each biscuit into three pieces, you can cut them or just tear them like me. In the end it doesn't matter if they are the exact same size.

 

 

 

 

You will also need a cup of cinnamon sugar mixture in a bowl. Once biscuits are broken up roll them into little balls and toss them in cinnamon sugar. Note: your hands will get messy! :)

 

Meanwhile, you will also need to have a bundt pan all ready to go-spray with pam first and then take about a half cup of pecans and spread them across the bottom of the pan. I totally forgot to get a pic of this part!

 

 

 

After pecans are in pan start to layer dough balls on top of pecans. It will start to look something like this.

 

 

 

 

Once all balls of dough are in pan you will need the next three ingredients. Cook and Serve Butterscotch pudding- NOT INSTANT this is VERY IMPORTANT, Brown Sugar, and Butter.

This part is very very important! The order in which you place these three ingredients is crucial to how this ends up coming out. I speak from experience! Take both boxes of pudding and sprinkle the powder on top of dough balls. Then take 1 cup brown sugar and sprinkle on top of pudding.

 Next take 1 stick of melted butter and pour on top of brown sugar. No pic of this either-whoops!


Once this is finished your work is complete for the night. Just cover pan lightly with aluminum foil and let sit overnight. In the morning remove foil from pan and cook at 375 for 30-40 mins depending on your oven. You will know when it is finished when the dough starts to look brown and kind of crispy on the top. If it still looks very doughy its probably not finished yet.

Once you remove from oven let pan sit for maybe 5 mins, not too long as you don't want the gooeyness to get stuck to the pan. When the 5 mins are up flip monkey bread onto plate and oogle the deliciousness that is before you! ;)

And our questions for the next two weeks are:
2/11    Who is your favorite person & why?
     2/18      What is a passion that you have that you don't normally blog about?