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Monday, September 9, 2013

I never knew.

I never knew...

that being a mommy would change my world.

I mean I guess I expected it, but I never knew how much! I realize now how self centered I used to be. Having a baby is oh so humbling because since I've been a mommy it hasn't once been about me. Selah's need and wants top all of mine at the moment and I'm totally okay with that.

I never knew...
that breastfeeding is HARD.

I had heard it can hurt a little at first so that's what I was expecting. No one ever told me how bad it would hurt! I thought it would be something so easy, so natural for both of us but it wasn't. For the first 5 weeks it was a fight and a struggle every single time she had a feeding. For the first few weeks I would cry at every feeding because of the pain. I definitely wasn't prepared for that.

I never knew...
That I wouldn't use any of the knowledge that I learned in my childbirth class.

When I was in labor with Selah everything that I was taught went out the window. Even the breathing techniques never got used! I was so sure I would at least remember those but in that moment my mind was just trying to focus on getting through the pain.

I never knew...

that just hearing her cry would make me cry.

I never knew...

That my heart could love so much.


  1. I have always been told if it hurts you to breast feed then you're not doing it right. It hurt me way to much to handle, and my tits weren't functioning right so as much as I wanted to breast feed I couldn't do it.

    You're so very right that your heart can love far more than you ever dreamed possible. It only gets more intense the more kids you have.

  2. Yay!! Hi there friend!!! Love this post and am totally on board when it comes to breastfeeding :) You are such an amazing mama!

  3. What a gorgeous picture. She looks like her beautiful Momma!
    And girl, this post really struck my heart. I thought I was getting over my baby fever, but I totally still have it!!
    So happy for you, girl! =)