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Monday, October 8, 2012

The Story of Us Part 2

The Story of Us Part 2
        Aside from facebook stalking Loujo I had no interaction with him. When he graduated high school he went off to college and I was still in Omaha for my senior year. It was around this time that I don’t even remember seeing him on facebook or thinking about him at all, for that matter. I was pre occupied with a certain cowboy from Texas…but that’s a whole other story that I won’t get into.
After senior year I moved to Las Vegas to live and work with my big sister, Amanda. It was definitely a learning experience. There were some very difficult times that year but I wouldn’t have traded it for a thing. It made me break out of my shell and for that I am so so thankful.

August of 2010 I boarded a plane back to Omaha not knowing that my husband had moved back 1 month prior. It was around this time that I started noticing posts from Loujo on facebook again. I remember seeing that he had become a Christian, which I was very surprised, but very happy about.
About a month had passed when my sister, Melanie began to have dreams about me and my future husband. Believe it or not this stuff is completely true. I would say at least once a week she would tell me that she had a dream about this “mystery man”. I think the first dream she ever told me about was one where my husband was on stage at a Church playing the guitar. In the dream she knew it was my hubby. Now, when she told me this it immediately sparked my interest- A man who loves Jesus AND plays the guitar? OH YEAH!
Night after night she had these dreams involving my future husband. Every dream described the man that I had always prayed for, the man of my dreams. I just knew these dreams were from God. By the time December rolled around it seemed like she was having these dreams every night. As soon as I would walk out of my room in the morning my sister would say, “I had another dream about your man.”
Every time she would have one of these dreams I would probe her about his description. The description I had from her dreams was that he had tan skin, dark-almost black hair, about as tall as my dad-maybe a tiny bit shorter, and of course he was a musician. She could NEVER see his face though, which was insanely frustrating to me.

You see, I was desperate to find my husband. For as long as I can remember I wanted to get married young and have babies, that’s all I ever really wanted to do. After my falling out with Cowboy I felt completely worthless, like no one would ever love me. I hoped that if I prayed and believed that God would send me an amazing Christian guy someday. SOMEDAY.
Since I had the description of this guy I was set on looking for him. Everywhere I would go I would assess if the guy matched his description. No guy ever matched it perfectly. Now, mind you the thought of Louie being this guy NEVER crossed my mind. I mean never! I was literally pining after this dream man. Thinking about him constantly and wondering when God would bring him into my life. I hoped it would be soon but a part of me thought I would have to wait until I was 40 to get married and that majorly upset me.
On February 4th, 2011 I went to Jason’s deli with my best friend, Skylar. We were there for a really long time just talking. She is one of those friends you can have the best conversations with that last FOREVER. Somehow the conversation turned to my dream guy. Of course she had already heard about this at least a dozen times, being my best friend and all but she listened contentedly. This time was different though.
I told her right then and there that I’m done pining over this guy. My pining for the last 3 months had not made him come into my life any faster. I finally came to the realization that God would bring him into my life when He was good and ready and me trying to control the situation was not going to help anything. I remember feeling such a peace during my conversation. I knew I was doing the right thing by giving all control to my Heavenly Father. You see, before I had given up control I was afraid that if I let God have the control he would most definitely make me wait a long time. I’m not sure why, but I just did and that’s why it was so difficult for me. I left Jason’s deli that afternoon with a peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace knowing that my Heavenly Daddy was in control.
Later that night I was sitting with my laptop trying to think of a witty status update for Facebook. All day I had been wanting to get a gym membership so I thought, “why not?” So I started typing.
“I reallllly want to get a gym mem”…..delete delete delete “That sounds stupid. People are going to think I’m a fatty.” I thought. “UGH no I’ll just type it anyway who cares what people are going to think of me?!?”
“I REALLLLY want to get a gym membership.” ßThe status that would change everything.
To be continued….

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